White coat. Heels.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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