she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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