hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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