i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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