GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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