is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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