PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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