when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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