I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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