He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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