Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
