Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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