you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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