Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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