Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
