btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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