I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
