There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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