i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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