just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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