just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
