these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
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he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
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It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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