Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize