i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
