Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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