And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
