The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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