Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
