All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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