the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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