btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
