turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
