Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize