He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
