moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
