i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
All I want is dick and wine.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
