I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
