are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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