well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
