i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
