He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So. Much. Porn.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
