He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
