Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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