This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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