sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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