You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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