omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize