sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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