It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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