Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just want nice things and good sex
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
