I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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