Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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