ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
