She's JV to your varsity
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
