Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
