I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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