Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
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she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
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Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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