I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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