I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
